Analogy Anthology

•February 23, 2010 • Leave a Comment

This blog originated as a way for me to explore my artistic process, but it’s been generally fluid and has become a dumping grounds for anything on my mind.

The other night I as I was sitting in some business class, my mind wandered (gee I wonder why), and I began to think of what I perceive is an ironic perspective about the relationship of government and business. And I’d like to expand on this for the next few posts, which will hopefully be less sparse.

The jist of the problem as I see it is that business purports to be concerned with ROI- return on investment, lowering costs (everything that it takes to run the business including inventory, through-put(sales, demand supplied), and operating expenses). They (conservatives, simplified thinkers, etc) assume one: that the government somehow by nature can not be concerned with these same aspects, and two: that private businesses are by nature better at producing a higher ROI aka they are more efficient. This is the argument behind a reduction in government run programs, and avoiding a government run healthcare program.

I hope to create analogies from the business world to show that if we treat the government like a business and not like a parent or a piggy bank we could have everything we ever dreamed of.

So here’s my general outline for then next few posts (mostly so I don’t forget):
Incentives: A department to whole relationship
R&D: A cost center, but also a profit center
Under-performing Assets: What to cut loose

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Killing queers is a protected right . . . or it aughtta be

•October 22, 2009 • Leave a Comment

A quote from ERLC against legislation that would include perceived sexual orientation, or transgenderedness under hate crimes protections.

The Southern Baptist Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission (ERLC) and others oppose efforts to expand hate-crimes protections based not only on their inclusion of categories defined by sexual behavior or identity but also because of concerns about the potential impact on religious freedom.

This is outrageous! We must protect the religious freedom to condone the assault and murder of homosexuals in church teachings. Hell we had to limit our lynching blacks talk to KKK meetings, and that’s a 1st amendment tragedy.

Please write to your liberal congressmen and tell them you want to kill queers, be sure to give them your name, address, phone number, church name and a good physical description of yourself.

10 things I love about Boo

•October 22, 2009 • 1 Comment

Yesterday was my wife’s and my 10th together anniversary and 7th wedding anniversary. So in honor of this occasion I present in no particular order . . .

10 things I love about my wife, 7 of which are true:
She enjoys going to my flag football games even when she’s tired
She listens to me when I’m pontificating
She pretends to listen to me when I’m pontificating
Uh, Boobs
She’s smart enough to not be satisfied with mediocrity (enough thought that’s resulted in a 10 bachelor’s degree)
She’s proud of me, even when I do silly things
She’s an emotional anchor when I feel like a loser
She respects my awesome intellect
She laughs at my incredible wit
She puts up with my unmatched ego

GenderBread Sandwich

•September 17, 2009 • Leave a Comment

With MBA and Live Theater filling.
Today has been a long day of many long days. A student by day, I, in a moment of foolish nostalgia, agreed to run sound for play. Not that I need an excuse to stay up too late, I’m a habitual night owl, so its difficult for me to reason myself into going to bed early, getting out of bed in the morning. In fact I mentally reason myself out of my sense of studious obligation with the weak, but persuasive argument, “the bed is so warm though, and you’re already here.”

Today all of my other activities seemed to be sandwiched by, well I’m not sure how to succinctly say but, more or less gender observations.
When I came to school this morning, I walked up the stairs with a metro/hipster looking guy. He had a hip-Asian haircut, a tight black shirt with a white splatter design, designer jeans, and a small messenger bag. The most attractive feature however was his pointed ostrich skin tooled Italian-style boots. By attractive, I mean my eye was attracted to the odd way he walked up the stairs, which then moved to his feet as the source of awkwardness. These boots were so elongated and pointed they were like the new extra-long-don’t-squish-your-toes high heeled shoes. It took a flight to realize that he looked odd because he was trying to plant his whole foot on the step, and his obscenely pointed shoe kept hitting the vertical part of the stair. Then another flight for me to realize that he continued to do it because he’d probably never learned to “Barbie-foot” (as Stan calls it). Called such because you only put the ball of your foot on the step and you keep your heel up. By sight this looks like a Barbie doll foot that is permanently formed for a high heel. Anyone who’s worn high heels knows it’s almost pointless to seek purchase on stairs with that teeny-tiny point below your heel. Surely though, he’s run up stairs?
I’d never considered that someone wouldn’t know how to walk up steps on the balls of his feet. The fact that he hadn’t figured it out by the top of the steps was more surprising. Is it a luxury to always be able to firmly plant your feet, or does it create an inability to move appropriately for a situation? I’m also pretty sure that guys know how to do this, I mean boxers, dancers, they have to know how to move. It struck me as odd, almost as if I was watching a man in drag walk up the steps.

Then at the end of my day, I was sought out for advice from a young lesbian about dating a tranny(FTM). I, however, did not say run for the hills and save yourself. Surprising considering my experience. Rather, it was just sage advice, good for any situation, be honest with yourself about what you want, and be honest with him, blah blah blah. The only thing remarkable about the conversation was when she brought up, as her main objection, not being comfortable on the receiving end of a strap-on. It’s times like this that something comes out of my mouth . . . not intending to be funny, simply trying to make a point. And I quote:

At some point in your lesbian career someone is going to put a dildo in your vagina, so if that’s all that’s holding you back get over it.

This is something I’m glad I get to say. I get frustrated that so many people, and young people still, don’t understand cultural influence on gender, and the difference between gender and sex. But despite having to almost constantly explain that women aren’t biologically ‘feminine’, I’m sincerely glad that I have a different lens to view the world through. It’s like a behind the scenes look at our culture. Or maybe more like watching a horror movie . . . yeah, that may be more realistic, ’cause sometimes I just want scream and throw popcorn at them.

Your Mom has gone too far . . .

•September 3, 2009 • 1 Comment

It’s border line, this compulsion I have to make fun of the “your mom” response, by appropriating it, may have gone too far.

Stan: Judas from Jesus Christ Superstar was in “The Color Purple”

Me: Your mom was in “The Color Purple”

I may need help . . .

Also I told Jesse he’s so gay it should be a sin. What is wrong with me?

Love This!

•September 3, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Circle Drive

See more here, like the Escher-like staircase sculpture. Its one of the few post that’s in English not German.

I’m Convinced My Roommate Suffers from Brain Damage

•September 3, 2009 • Leave a Comment

And furthermore that it stems from Anorexia Nervosa.

She’s displays the classic symptoms of this disorder (specifically overly concerned with body image, excessive exercising, making food for others and not eating it) which can cause brain damage as well as a host of other delightful impairments (liver failure, coma, arthritis, kidney disease and failure).

I say this because, first of all she doesn’t believe in evolution, but teaches children about dinosaurs. And a few minutes ago I after taking out the trash, I came inside to see her attempting to replace the trash bag with a recycling bag. Our city has a specific color assigned to recyclables that you buy from the city. By itself that might not be so weird, but I asked her why she was getting a new bag when there was an empty bag in a container labeled “recycle” next to the bag-less trash can. And she said oh, this isn’t for the trash? No. (which she knows already, this isn’t new information) she also happened to have a plastic bottle she was trying to recycle, which she then indicates and says this is recyclable though right? Uhhmm. Yeah.

Was this a misunderstanding? I’m confused. There was clearly a receptacle for recyclables and it was empty (as in the opposite of full) and she’s never seen any color but a black bag in the trash can. And she’s lived here a least half a year.

Therefore the only answer is permanent irreparable brain damage. And/Or I just hate her, and want her to pay me rent and live elsewhere.

Oh, and she doesn’t understand why the government won’t give her government scholarships for school when she’s defaulted on a government loan. Despite the fact that it clearly states this on every financial aid website, that those are just the rules. I wouldn’t give money for free to someone who refuses to pay the money they borrowed, and I am the government. “But I’m not asking for a loan . . .” . . .hate. . .