I’m reading a book I don’t want to read, because a friend lent it to me, and I don’t want to return it without having a better idea of what inside. The book is What Should I Do With My Life? by Po Bronson who is apparently a best seller, and therefore I am not surprised that I’ve never heard of him. It is a collection of personal struggles to find one’s job destiny, and Bronson tries to spin these thin threads into a rope. So far this rope hangs limp and purposeless, a collection of disparing complaints which serves only to illustrate nobody else knows what to do with their lives, its a REALLY hard question.
I appreciate the need to complain, but at a certain point a solution should become a priority. Lately I’ve felt directionless but I don’t like to sit too long without a vague idea of where to go from here. Anyone who’s gone to dinner with me without specific plans knows, I get in the car and decide where to go on the way. Its not efficient, I know, not practical, and my stomach and I have regretted deciding and driving too long until the only thing left open is Denny’s.
And the longer I think about it, the more analogies I can make to the way I drive and the way I live.
All that said, I’ve pick out three places on the map, and I’m just not sure which way to go.
One is Business School, easy enough, I sign up, and the curriculum takes care of the next 1.5 to 2 years. But then what?
The Second is the PhD track, but which field of study, and what would I do with it?
And the Third, completely focus on The Art Collective and see were that takes me.
It’s entirely possible that I could do Three and one of the others, but I think one of the ways I’ve failed in the past is by stretching myself too thin. It is too easy to be pessimistic about an outcome when I have so little energy.
In all honesty I’m waiting for a sign, for the universe to align just right and I can follow a star to my destined occupation. But then it seems too biblical and I keep driving to the all night diner.