Born to be mild.
I tried to runaway today. I intended to go to school in Denton, but somewhere along the way I had an existential crisis. Nothing helps me reorient myself like a nice long motorcycle ride. So I set off. I was going to go to Oklahoma to quickly get out of Texas, or maybe Austin to visit my birthplace. Some where far from responsibility and the present. I got as far as Forest and Central and remembered I’d forgotten my wallet. I had cash; the problem wasn’t money. I didn’t have my ID, and I started to think, what if I crash in Oklahoma, no one would know who I was, and no one would have known I was gone. I couldn’t put my wife through that. And more practically, I might get pulled over in south Texas because my right turn signal was out, then on top I would have no license. I might even match a description of an escaped convict, and with no license to prove who I am . . . Well, frankly, I’m not cut out for jail (Although I can make a shank out of a toothbrush with plastic wrap and a lighter).
I wound up shirking responsibility at my friend Jesse’s house where we watched a Samuel L. Jackson/ Eugene Levey movie and he feed me Chinese food. On the way home I hit a lot of traffic which gave me the time to think that I needed, but avoided all day. This is what I thought about, among other things that I’m still processing.
In researching, and discovering how other people create art I’ve found that one:
Art and Science share the same inquisitive nature, but scientists attempt to answer a question definitively and with fact, where artist find the answer subjectively with intuition and emotion.
For instance, a scientist would ask: given three control groups, what reaction will chemical x have on the lymphatic system in these lab rats.
An artist might ask, what structure and environment could I create that will give humans the feeling that they are lab rats. (ooh, I’ve got ideas already).
I think too much about what I’m trying to say and how successful that will be. I ask the question how can I do a piece that talks about the following socio-political issues, and that question is too big to wrap my mind around. But if I start with imagery of say falling figures, or images of tension, how does it make me feel, what does it remind me of and what are the implications. Sometimes I plan so much on how to say it with out spitting something out to see how it sounds. After starting this blog, and exploring other ways people create, I’ve been more interested in drawing and painting because it is a way to quickly and easily get some imagery out of my head and then I let my hands play with it. So instead the question is, what is it I’m doing, and how can I make this piece in a way that effectively communicates.